9:30AM
Alexandra
Caught this on ArtCoiton's site. The perils of online dating, I guess. Nice video. I don't know if a Match.com is any worse than meeting someone in a bar, though. Sometimes the chemistry just isn't there - even if you had great conversations and everything was fine over the phone or via text/e-mail. Maybe the two of you aren't sexually compatible. Maybe you seem desperate or he doesn't think you're all that interested. Maybe he really did just want sex, but then... that's him being a jerk and not really because you met him on a dating site.
Buddha
Reader Comments (3)
love the vid. yeah its very similar to regular dating, meeting a guy at a bar. But instead this time your both say your looking for a relationship, love and possibly marriage, which a lot of people at bars might not be looking for.
Good point. My gut tells me, though, that most men don't have the patience to spend weeks, if not months, getting to know someone and having 4-hour phone chats if all they want is sex (there are sites for that); I know I wouldn't. Now, I'm sure there probably are guys who do use dating sites to troll for conquests... but it's more likely that he just lost interest. Chemistry is a fickle thing.. as I've mentioned. My advice to anyone is to take it slow. If you go the route of a Match.com, get some current photos to establish attraction, then spend months (yes, months) getting to know them. Don't hold anything back. Get it all out - what you like, don't like... all your kinky fantasies (no matter how shocking). The last thing you want is to find out, 5 months in, that you've completely misjudged this person. It's happened to me.
Relationships don't always last, though. 5 days, 10 months or 15 years. Things change. I've babbled on about this before, but it doesn't make that person a "bitch" or an "asshole" just because they had the courage to end it. Yeah, it hurts... especially if you didn't want it to be over. Why would you want to be with someone, though, who doesn't want to be with you? Sometimes we know on that first date or after first having sex... that it's just not going to work. Sometimes it takes years. If you're lucky, though, you find someone who surprises you again and again and you try hard to make it last.
The best anyone can hope for is an open dialog. We're all flawed, but we're also unique. You have to share everything - every issue, every fantasy. I'm not saying you relive your day in detail (please, no), but if something's bothering you... get it out. If you don't think you can go on, get it out. Whatever it is. My girlfriend constantly calls me on my "nothing" comment when she asks if something's wrong. Conversation is healthy.
My god that was a thesis...
:) happy valentine's day.
the months thing might work, that way theyre probably in love with you at some level