Flesh for Fantasy
It’s fascinating how different men and women are when it comes to sex. We both check each other out. We both like to fuck. We both watch porn. We both have kinky little fantasies. We both masturbate. That’s where the similarities end, though. Men will pay to watch some girl strip down in a late-night cam session. They’ll pay to access a porn site that could very well be hacking their credit card information. They’ll drive at night, alone, to an abandoned warehouse district to visit a seedy strip club. They’ll sit through a ridiculous movie like “Bikini Hotel” because it might show some skin. They’ll risk an STD and spend an hour with Maya at the Bunny Ranch. Would women subject themselves to that? No. Even if/when they go to watch men strip, it’s a "night out" with friends. They don't see life through the same deviant lens.
Is it due to supply and demand? Most women can have sex anytime they want it. Match.com. Clubs. Grocery stores. It doesn’t matter where they are. Unless the guy is daft (or in a relationship), exchange numbers and it’s a done deal. Single men don’t have it as easy. To make matters worse, guys think about sex all the time (probably because it’s harder to come by). It’s The Dating Game and they’re forever Bachelor #1.
Do men pay for sex, then (be it a site, a cam session or lap dance), because they’re desperate? Is it because it’s purely sexual and sometimes they just don’t want to hear how your day was; they want you to bend over and be their Muse for a few minutes. Is it because they’re lonely? Maybe it’s the companionship they’re after. Sure... there are women that say they’re lonely because they can’t find Mr. Right, but they’re not single because they can’t find anyone; they’re single because they’re a lot more selective.
When it comes to porn, many women don’t even get off to videos with men in it. Girl/girl or Hentai. CARTOON porn! Ok, well... the Hentai is primarily an Asian thing, but the reality is that women don’t really need men; they don’t. I’m not saying they don’t want us. Of course they do. They want a strong, dominant lover who will take control and spank them into submission. They just don’t need us. They don't need sex the same way that men do (i.e. 24/7). They’re better at tuning it out.
If a woman were to lose her job or be strapped for cash, few would entertain the idea of showing a little skin for money - even if no one would know her identity. If a man were in her shoes and this were an alternate universe where women shelled out cash to see him strip down to his Underoos, it wouldn’t be a “moral” issue. It would be a business decision. He would know that he has what she wants and it’s easy money. Besides... men are exhibitionists by nature. It would feed his ego to be a sex object and turn him on. He’d keep it as anonymous as possible, but he'd do it without hesitation. Not all guys, but enough. Maybe men and women are just... wired a little differently.
Anyway... a random thought.
Buddha
Reader Comments (9)
I've only been to lady strip clubs.
The ones with men seem.. frightening.
It's true - we have more options.
If I were single and went out into the street and shouted "I want to have sex with someone! Anyone!" I'd get volunteers.
If a guy does it... Well, if i saw a guy do that I would run. Fast.
Well said, especially about porn and being selective.
When it comes to men I think all women wonder if the fascination with porn and casual sex just primal or simple immaturity especially after a certain age.
My question would be when does the desire for cerebral connection/stimulation take over ?
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Muppet - Yes, run and run FAST!
Thamara - Men will always get off on porn. Period. Any age. I'm probably one of the few guys, though, that gets off more from stories (Literotica) than some cheesy porn video. The only reason seniors don't watch it is because they don't know how to use a damn computer. I'm sure they'd love to.
Casual sex is a different matter. As you know, men mature slower. I think a man wanting a cerebral connection, though, has more to do with who he is than age. Some guys just aren't all that deep. I'm a Virgo, so... as hot as a girl is, the sex isn't going to be enough. I need a good mindfuck - and by that I mean... someone who has her own opinions and can talk about everything from tax cuts to Natasha Richardson to the hot video for Pitbull's new song and "doesn't that girl look like Nautica Thorn?" Conversation is huge.
When I met my girlfriend, I told her that I wanted a Muse... "a 3-dimensional enigma" - someone who is able to balance being silly, sexual and smart in one delicious package. A girl who is comfortable in any setting. Do all men want that? No. Most are perfectly content with settling for good sex. What happens, though, when the sex goes away or starts to get boring? Will he try to spice things up? Beyond the sex, is he even into you as a person? Is the sex the only thing keep you together? Will he cheat?
I've known guys who date or marry the girl who is their "best friend" or "soul mate", but then cheat with a woman who feeds their sexual needs. I don't know if it's immaturity as much as it is a lack of patience and communication. Couples need to be honest from the start - - put all their kinky little fantasies out on the table. They need to talk about what's important to them. If having sex with other women is a turn-on, he needs to tell her. Yeah... she might dump his ass, but what if she secretly had the same fantasy? I've seen it happen. She was bi-curious and fine with him being with another girl - provided she was there to join in. Lucky guy.
If he's frustrated that she's not dressing sexy or doing this or that - he needs to tell her. Likewise, if she's annoyed with certain things, she has to communicate that to him. None of us can read minds. If they're just not a match, they need to move on. The problem is, most people don't. They settle and it just ends up blowing up later on. We are who we are. Period.
So, is your girlfriend a 3-dimensional enigma you crave for? Or does she just satisfy 2 out of 3?
THIS is the stuff I like! You have about eight different topics crammed into one blog post.
It may seem like men and women want different things, but it all boils down into wanting the SAME thing: Love and acceptance.
My mission as a sex goddess blogger who has embraced her own sexuality is to reach other women and help them do the same. If the women work through their repression, then the happiness of men will follow.
Another disadvantage to consider is that a lot of women are on birth control hormones, which can inhibit their sex drive. Wouldn't it be interesting if as many men were on hormones that inhibited THEIR sex drive??
Also, I get so tired of straight men online desperately and stupidly trying to make connections with women, the end goal being to have sex with her. I wish the men could pair off and fuck and suck each other and be done with it. It feels like a war zone sometimes.
PS: Buddha, your comment is brilliant. Never settle.
Be open and honest. For example, the other night my partner visited me at 1am, and shoved his fingers under my nose to smell that he had just fingered another woman in the parking lot outside a bar.
If we were the average couple, he would have not touched that woman, or he would have gone ahead and acted on his urges, but wash his hands before seeing me and not telling me.
I have to admit it was pretty fucking hot. Was an eye opening moment of how close we are.
TBK - Beast was being beastly, I see. Let's be honest... most folks are fairly repressed, sexually. They try to keep their fantasies locked up in the attic. Every now and then, though, they escape and take them on a "shameful" joyride through the Big O. The next day, the Puritan within locks them up, says "I will never do that again" and goes to church to cleanse the soul (even if just mentally). It's an endless cycle.
Real maturity comes from being honest with yourself about who you are, what you want, what you don't want and what's important to you in life.
Yes, "Anonymous". She's definitely a 3-dimensional enigma. She's got it all. :)
"a strong dominant lover who will spank them into submission". sounds good to me.