The term "Goddess" certainly applies here. Oh my... this is a remarkable woman. If you do nothing else today, it should be to visit her site, bookmark it and immerse yourself in TBK's world. Check out her eBook, as well. Sex writer. Mother. Friend. I've known her for awhile now. As amazing as she is as "TBK", her real identity reveals someone even more fascinating. Both inspire. Both light up the senses. She's truly comfortable in her skin. How many people do we know like that? There is nothing she won't talk about. She's fearless, deeply intelligent and one of the few people I could talk to for hours - and still be left wanting more.
She was gracious enough to profile me awhile back. Now it's my turn. Q&A with TBK.
Q: Have you always been so sexual?
I was molested at age 8 or 9, which contributed to my hypersexuality. I wonder what I would be like today if I was able to explore sex on my own terms at my own pace. That said, I love who I am and feel like I was able to turn a terrible experience into something wonderful. I'm proud I've taken ownership of my sexuality.
One time when I was a teenager my mom was mad at me and wanted to slut shame me, so she spat, "You were always masturbating as a baby!" I don't know if that's true, though. It took me almost 20 years to do it right - I didn't have my first orgasm until I was 19!
Q: What motivated you to start your blog? How do you see it evolving?
Four years ago, my blog started out as a place to bitch about my pet peeves, including how much I hated blogs. I have as many pet peeves as I do fetishes; I'm the crazy cat lady of pet peeves! Crocs, women who bleach their hair, Hawaiian shirts not in Hawaii, sports jerseys, parents who dress their young daughters in shorts that have writing on the ass, the list goes on and on.
Then I started bragging about my awesome sex life, and over time it transformed into a sex positive community. I love that I've replaced the negative energy with positive. I've got big plans this fall, and even bigger plans early next year when my site undergoes its next transformation!
Q: Did you ever imagine you'd have so many fans?
No, it's been a slow, surreal journey. Many people live vicariously through me, but that's just a start. One of my life goals is to make a difference and change lives, and I'm thrilled to be an inspiration to others as they explore their own sexuality, which is tied to their general happiness. I live a rich and beautiful life, and want others to as well. Spread the love!
Q: What's the biggest misconception people have about you?
People only see tiny slices of my life, so they take things out of context and assume I'm outwardly sexual with a husky voice and provocative attire. Or they assume I'm crazy or on drugs. But I'm not - I look like a regular mom, so I can get away with staring at college girls. I wish a camera could follow my partner and I around for a week so people could see us take care of our kids, clean out the garage, and do all the responsible adult stuff, then go to a pirate orgy and immerse ourselves in decadent hedonism that most people only dream of. I think offering a more complete view of our life would do a good job demonstrating that you can have it ALL - stability, family, a loving partner, dating, excitement, unbelievable adventures.
Q: What are some of your favorite blogs/sites?
I flit about the Internet like a hummingbird. Here are a few flowers I circle back to time and again for nectar:
Q: What does feminism mean to you?
Feminism is acknowledging that men and women are equals. People should be paid the same amount for doing the same job, regardless of the type of genitals they possess. Both men and women should be allowed to go topless in public without getting arrested. EVERYONE should enjoy sexual freedom. I think social norms interfere too much with happiness and pleasure, especially for women. I am a feminist.
Q: What do men need to learn about women... and vice versa?
Men need to learn that most women want to fuck other men. And maybe women, too. Women need to learn that most men want to fuck other women. And maybe men, too. These natural non-monogamous desires do not mean your partner doesn't love you. Basically, we are animals, not mannequins. We ALL need to learn from bonobos, a peaceful, sexual, matriarchal society.
Q: Do you ever get tired talking about sex?
No. I don't get tired of eating, breathing, or sleeping, either. It's a basic human need, and one of the most beautiful things in the world.
Q: What pisses you off?
Hypocrites, injustice, and people disrespecting each other. Women who won't fuck their husband, but won't let him fuck anyone else or even masturbate. Men who fall in love with a beautiful, sexy woman, but then get mad at her if she wears a short skirt. People who put other people in cages. Or other non-human animals, for that matter. Factory farming infuriates me.
Q: What makes you smile?
Love, kindness, beauty, freedom, being myself with my loved ones. Sex, orgasms. I feel happiest and most at home when I'm naked with my primary partner exchanging pleasure.
Q: What are some of the best songs you've heard recently?
I've been on a James Blunt kick with my daughter. I love "You're Beautiful"; she loves "Tears and Rain." I also went on a La La quest recently - a playlist full of songs that contain La La. A haunting witchy one is Piume Di Cristallo by Ennio Morricone.
Q: What was your first experience like with another woman?
I was in 5th grade. We were horny and having a sleepover. We pretended I was a robber breaking in and raping her, which meant covering her with my body, pressing my weight on her, pushing my knee in her crotch and kissing for hours. I was always the male in our fantasy roleplaying; she was always female. To this day, I often fantasize about ravishing beautiful women as a male when I masturbate.
Q: Why is it so hard for people/society to let go, sexually?
Fear and insecurity. We live in a patriarchal society. Patriarchy is fear of the feminine AND the mature masculine. People are afraid to admit they piss in the shower, for godsake. They're so afraid they'll be judged. Little do they know that EVERYONE does it, too. All my friends are doing the same crazy shit I'm doing, except they hide it. I put it out there. It takes courage. We all need to replace the fear in our hearts with love.
Q: What do you want for Christmas?
Every year my partner and I escape to a rustic cabin in the country with a fireplace and hot tub the weekend before Christmas. That is perfection. Adding to that:
- SoapRocks
- LUSH bath products
- New walking shoes
- New dresses, lingerie and goddess attire for all the awesome adult events I'm going to host next year
Q: What's on your bucket list?
My fucket list? I've already made a hell of a lot of dreams (mine and others!) cum true, but there's endless possibilities! EUROPE. Take my daughter to Farm Sanctuary in New York. Take her to Japan. Storm NYC with my partner. Attend Folsom Street Fair in San Fran. Shave my head in a spectacular fashion. Do my part to catch the midwest up to the East and West coasts, and then get America up to speed with Europe. To be the Rosa Parks of sexual freedom. I want to proudly sit at the front of the shortbus topless. Better yet, wearing nothing but a crown. :)
The Beautiful Kind on the Web
Tuesday, August 31 
